Can't Muster The Will

The last couple of weeks have been unfortunately more of the same… eating, eating and eating. I think that I have it in my mind that I will not be able to lose weight until I move back to Ohio. My plans, hopes, and dreams of loosing weight are on hold and I have been eating what ever I want with out giving it a second thought.

I read a lot of blogs. Lots of diet blogs. I know that people have the same problems and issues as me. However, I notice something different about their train of thought. They are working at loosing weight they, even though it sucks are going through the motions of a diet.

I on the other hand bitch and complain about being fat and do nothing about it. Being stranded here in Chicago by myself would be a perfect place and time for me to get on a diet and loose weight. I have nobody who wants to go out to eat with me, I have nobody who wants to go out drinking with me, and I have nobody who knows me that would see me in shorts. I could do things at my own pace. I have plenty of time. My poor dog would definitely benefit from some out door activity. Yet here I am wrapped up in a blanket watching Will and Grace reruns, eating cheese pops.

I can clearly see how food is a comfort to me. I am lonely here. I eat to fill time. I eat to take my mind off the fact that I am alone. I would still eat if I was in Ohio, but I at least would be able to make the effort. Here I can’t seem to will myself to even try.