Hey baby, do you like fat girls?

I went to see the movie Elizabethtown today. It was good, it was long. I cried almost the entire time. I am such an easy crier. To prove my point, yesterday I saw the March of the Penguins, I cried through that movie too.

Without giving too much of the story away, not that the trailers didn’t already do that, Elizabethtown is a love story. The feeling that I am left with after seeing it is despair. There will be no chance encounters for me, no love at first site. I am too fat. The first impression I give to people is that I am a fat girl not oh how about a summer romance. I often wonder, if I weren’t fat would this boy thing I was the one for him? I am sure someone’s mother is saying right now “if he does not see you inner beauty he is not worth it” yada, yada, yada. How is someone supposed to get to your inner beauty through layers of fat? Once he does see you are a great person what is he supposed to do when he is not physically attracted to you?

I had a boyfriend once that I got fat with. One day I decided I was tired of being fat and over the course of the next six months I lost about a hundred pounds. From then on I had no respect for my boyfriend, in fact I found him repulsive. Does that make me a bad person? How could I have respected someone who still had the same traits that I did not respect in myself? How is someone now supposed to find me attractive and respect me when I don’t like the way I look and my self-respect is at an all time low? It’s simply not going to happen.