Chicken? Again?

Monday, my day off. Ah I’m not at the restaurant so I probably did a good job sticking to a healthy diet. No pasta to lure me no bowls of ice cream. So what did I do? I ate chicken.

I have no food in my house. My kitchen is basically there to house dog food, and dog treats. On the occasion that I do cook my kitchen then is a mess for weeks and to disgusting to walk in to except to get dog treats and fill his bowl. I am a pig in more ways than one.

So on my day off the same thing always happens. I sleep to eleven and then wake up starving like I haven’t eaten in a month. Of course there is nothing here to eat. Not even water to drink (I refuse to drink tap water). I have to get dressed well enough to go out of the house in search of food. I want Chinese. I spent 15 minutes searching through the piles of crap in my apartment to try to find the menu to the Town Wok, which is about three minutes away. I figure if I call ahead I won’t have to wait and I can take the dog without him getting to hot. He of course has already figured out that it is not a workday by the length of time I slept and because I put jeans on. So of course he is planning on going everywhere I go and if I don’t take him he will howl the most pathetic sounds that will leave me feeling guilty for hours.

I can’t find the menu but I decide I will go to the Town Wok order my food then run over to White Hen get some Coke and chips and then back to the Town Wok to pick up lunch. As soon as I got to the Town Wok I remembered that it is Monday and they are closed. Damn it. Every Chinese restaurant in this town is closed. Now what.

Popeye’s Chicken. The day that I got this apartment I noticed the Popeye’s Chicken and vowed I would never go there. That was in April. Pretty good right? Four months I went with out eating Popeye’s. I am so proud. I was left no choice. I got a three piece meal. Two wings and a breast with mashed potatoes and a coke. Then I did go to White Hen to get more Coke and Baked BBQ Lays. I wish I had gotten some water while I was there because now I have had about eight Cokes today and I’m hella thirsty.

Then I cleaned for a while did some laundry took a nap and woke up hungry like I hadn’t eaten in a month. What was it going to be for dinner? Boston Market. Why did I choose Boston Market? Easy they have a drive through. I am looking especially shitty today and did not feel like getting out of the car so this was perfect. It did not even dawn on me that I already had chicken and mashed potatoes but hey at least this was health right? Not fried anyways. I do love chicken. Oh and I added another vegetable to the mix, corn.

There are a few basic things in my life that I see as hexes that are designed to keep me fat.

1. I work in a restaurant

2. I don’t make shit for a salary therefore can not even afford to grocery shop. (I know that if I stopped eating out and saved some money I would have money to grocery shop but that problem is for a different blog).

3. I hate vegetables. All except for corn, potatoes, and peas. The least healthy of all vegetables. Ok I like raw spinach as in a spinach salad and I know that is very healthy but I only like it if it has lots of dressing blue cheese and steak on it.

4. I have a family who believes that eating is a social function.

Am I doomed? Or am I just making excuses? I am very proud of myself for only eating half a bag of the chips and 8 of the 12 pack of coke! I can't wait to get to work tomorrow and drink some ice cold bottled Italian spring water.